Agreeing on Expenses in Marriage

Julianne and I have it pretty easy, we agree on almost all of our expenses, and the rest are small enough to fit into our personal allowances (see Giving Yourself an Allowance).

I know people who aren't so fortunate - who have large expenses that they can't agree on. When one spouse wants to make a large purchase that the other spouse does not support, this can result in major conflict - whether or not the money is spent. It can bring on feelings of martyrdom or of not being supported. The battleground over expenses can then quickly expand.

Here's an article discussing the importance of having similar financial goals, and ways to work out our differences when we don't: The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters. One piece of advice that struck me as especially useful was to seek the help of mediators when necessary. And really, divorce is expensive, much more expensive than foregoing a few things you want, and letting your spouse get a few things you may think are unnecessary. Families are more important than finances, and letting money tear a marriage apart is foolish.